If Opposites Attract, What Do Similarities Do?

By Mirthell Onyx

Opposites attract because it creates a sense of excitement, passion, adventure, and risk.  Our hearts begin to race and that sensation can make for a pleasant experience, especially in the early stages of a relationship. But if opposites attract, what do similarities do? Similarities create connection and a sense of security, love, support, and comfort.

If opposites are sexy then similarities are sensual. We all would agree that we need a balance of attraction and connection in our relationships. A relationship full of opposites may begin strong but go up in flames as frustration levels rise based on misunderstandings and perpetual conflicts.  Passion can turn to anger and risk can be perceived as simply recklessness.

Even in a relationship full of similarities, security can become boredom and comfort becomes stagnation. Yet connection is a deeper, more foundational experience to relationships than attraction, so we must prioritize connecting in seeking a balance. What would a balance between opposites and similarities in our relationships look like in order to create a winning formula?

There are five primary areas of our lives that we need to consider when we form relationships. They are Culture, Belief, Experiences, Practices and Interest. If you have all five in common, you run the risk of marrying a friend. If you have all five as differences, you run the risk of marrying an enemy. While it may not seem so bad to marry a friend over an enemy, the ideal is to marry a partner, lover and friend. We need at least three of these in common with our partner, as much as four, in order for the relationship to have the most meaning, satisfaction and endurance.

When making the relational connection you must respect the parts of yourself and the other person so as not to try and change who they are. And for the sake of self-love not sacrifice the things about who you are that are most meaningful.

Try creating a profile of both differences and similarities in your relationship.

 Example: 

Culture: Race, Ethnicity, Culture (e.g. African-American, Caucasian, Canadian, American, Southern, Appalachian)

Common Beliefs: Religious, Non-religious, Political (e.g. Christian, Protestant, Catholic, Agnostic, Conservative, Liberal)

Experience: Family upbringing, Economic background (e.g. Nuclear family, Adopted, Middle Class, Low-Income, Suburbs, Inner-city)

Practice: Sleep patterns, Housekeeping, Activity (e.g. early-riser, night-owl, messy, orderly, loves to workout, couch potato)

Interest: Hobbies (e.g. Reading, Fishing, Loves Movies, Comic Book collector, Sports, Cooking)

Have fun!

 

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Crush It and Crushing It by Gary Vaynerchuk

By Rita Onyx

Our family decided to institute a monthly book club and so far we have enjoyed a variety of books in different genres. Our book for February was Crushing It by Gary Vaynerchuk. I felt so inspired with the first few pages that I searched his library of books and found I had missed the first one, Crush It. How did I miss that? I’ll tell you how.

I’ve been caught up with the treadmill of a 9-5 job for several years. I didn’t even get a whiff of entrepreneurship until a few years ago and still, it wasn’t enough for me to stop what I was doing, even though I knew it wasn’t getting me anywhere I really wanted to be. I can’t even imagine if I had read this book where I could have been by now.

Because I hadn’t yet reoriented my mind towards building a brand for myself, I wasn’t tuned into the wealth of information and motivational material that is out there for entrepreneurs, so missed it. I missed Crush It and other opportunities to change my life. But that’s ok, because my time is now, our time is now.

Gary delivers his message with passion and common sense that wipes out any excuses for complacency. I love his perspective that social media profiles are the new resumes, something that Millenials inherently understand and the rest of us are barely catching up to. He also emphasizes the importance of developing a personal brand along with your business brand.

The terms Crush It or Crushing It signify intense focus, relentless hard work, long hours, and hardcore passion related to your brand, both personal and business. Can I say I am crushing it? Some days yes, and others not so much. Honestly, after years of being programmed in one direction it takes a while to completely divest yourself of an old, outdated way of thinking. Plus, it’s just A LOT of work! But it’s worth it.

Are you crushing it?

Morning Workouts vs Night Workouts: Which One’s Better?

By Shasha Onyx [Courtesy Cardionyx]

There are two types of people in this world; the early bird who likes to jump out of bed and start doing strict military pushups, or the night owl who likes to stay up at ungodly hours to jump start their rigorous jogging session. (ME!)

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Neither are necessarily bad, because there are great benefits for both types!

Benefits of Morning Workouts:

  • Boosts your metabolism so that your burning more calories all day!
  • An all natural coffee for the mind; workouts wakes the mind up better than coffee; so double benefit if you start your day out with it!
  • People who exercise in the morning are more likely to be consistent with their workouts everyday than people who exercise later.
  • You get better sleep; since exercise energizes the body, starting your workout at night will definitely make it harder to drift into a peaceful sleep.

Benefits of Night Workouts:

  • Your body has better muscle strength at night than in the morning.
  • Releases stress from the day!
  • For people who have insomnia, it may even help you fall asleep if the workout is vigorous enough.
  • Fewer people will attend the gym, which means you’ll be less self conscious training AND you’ll have more space to workout! (Double win!)
  • Allows unlimited time to workout, compared to in the morning where you’ll feel rushed.

So which option do you guys prefer? Morning or Night? Comment below and let me know!